Honesty IS the Best Policy (except . . . . . )

Here is a great article that everyone should read.  John Loeb is spot on.  I want to dive a little bit further into his “rule no. 9:” “A reputation for fair and honest dealing will be your greatest asset.”  While I might not always follow “rule no. 9,” I am generally very honest with people in my personal and professional relationships.  BUT, I find that this honesty gets me into trouble sometimes . . . .

 

The reason I get into trouble is that I have a tendency to be bluntly honest.  I say the EXACT truth instead of using strategies to mitigate the harshness of my honesty.  Like any good Management Consultant, my father has tried to teach me two ways to avoid getting myself into trouble when speaking the truth:

1. Change the tone of the discussion (i.e. say “that isn’t quite right” vs. “YOU are wrong”)
2. Wait a day before making the comment – you will generally think over the statement or situation and be able to approach it in a more constructive way vs. an accusatory way

 

I have noticed that in my personal life, being bluntly honest should be mitigated with the above two techniques because individuals tend to be more sensitive to their friend’s opinions (especially women – please please I know I'm generalizing so don’t get mad!).  On the professional side, though, I have gained a lot of long-term good will from telling the precise truth, no matter how much it hurts.  People will trust that I am giving them my full opinion instead of skirting around an issue or flat-out lying.  Over the course of my career at NSR I definitely raised a lot of hell about certain issues I didn’t agree with but my relationship with my former colleagues actually grew rather then suffer.  In fact, even if there was some sort of professional issue, my personal relationship with my colleague’s did not suffer – i.e. no awkwardness in grabbing some drinks even if we were in the middle of a professional spat.  I think my father still finds this astounding because he knows how blunt I can be!  My advice is to develop a reputation for blunt honestly so that people expect it.