What to Do With Your Life Besides Make Money and Outperform Your Peers

Since I graduated from college and began my “corporate life” I have never taken a step back to determine what my personal goals and aspirations are.  From a professional perspective it was easy to fall into the trap of comparing myself to my peers in terms of performance and pay.  Thus, the goal became to outperform my peers both operationally and in terms of the amount of money I could make.  I never gave a thought as to why I was making money – to what end?  Nor did I really think about what exactly is it that I would enjoy to do!

 

Two years ago as I was leaving my job at Merrill I began to feel that I needed to find a better “purpose” in my life, not to find the “answer” but to figure out what I wanted vs. what society told me I wanted.   Being aware of these thoughts is tough because finding an answer is REALLY tough.  I ultimately fell back into the trap of working for money and prestige precisely because the answers are tough to find; it is easier to ignore the answers then to confront them head-on.  Tim Ferriss’s book the Four Hour Work Week really helped me open my eyes and think about the “why” and “what” by giving a structured method to think about my life goals.  At the beginning of the book he asked direct questions that helped tackle my fears and define worst-case scenarios.  This exercise ultimately freed me to think about all of the positive possibilities / outcomes as well. 

 

After defining my biggest fear – to lose my entire net-worth and the respect of my friends and family (realizing of course that losing the net-worth is much easier then losing the respect of my friends and family) – I proceeded with Tim Ferriss’s dreamscape exercise.  Basically I had to think about what my ultimate life-goals would be in the next 6 months in an ideal world (where I would not have to worry about money).  Very simple for me -

1. Spend a month in Buenos Aires
2. Learn how to cook
3. Learn Hindi properly
4. Learn Bridge
5. Get my own fully furnished apartment on rent (I'm talking a really NICE place!) in Mumbai

 

Based on this initial list I had to figure potential costing and a definite way to prove that I have achieved the goal -

1. spend a month in Buenos Aires (USD 1,500 round trip –> ~USD 6,000 total spend including rent)
2. Prepare an Indian meal for my family alone (lessons free from my cook!)
3. Speak to my cook for five minutes without stuttering or pausing to translate in my head (~INR 5,000)
4. Play bridge for an hour with my dad and his friends (~INR 5,000 for a teacher)
5. Apartment on rent (~INR 50,000 per month)

 

Now with realistic actionable goals and an understanding of the end-product (for skills learned especially) it makes it easy to break down these tasks into smaller and more actionable items.  I can also see from the above list what goals are realistic and what goals I will need more money for.  More importantly, though, I realized that I can achieve my dreams for less then I thought (if I were to spread the costs over 6 months it would be INR 100,000 per month [including a 30% buffer for extra expenses]).  Going back to my obsession with GTD, this type of thinking is helpful because now I can define specific steps to achieve my goals vs. being paralyzed by larger less general objectives. 

 

Now the key is, how do I make enough money to afford an apartment and go to Buenos Aires.  I am going to start learning my new skills next week!

Knowledge by Trial and a Review of Objectivism

I read Ayn Rand’s Fountainhead many years ago but definitely did not understand the philosophy.  Now, while I read Atlas Shrugged, which is especially relevant in the current economic situation, I have a much better understanding of the Objectivist philosophy – but certainly not enough to defend it in a rigorous philosophical debate, I could probably do it at a cocktail party, though.  700 pages into the book and I am drawn to the Objectivist philosophy because I believe in the idea of “Relative Value” and “Selfishness.”  These are concepts that were hammered into me while studying Free Market Economics at University of Chicago.

 

As a good University of Chicago student, though, I am always looking for a flaw in the argument.  I keep getting the gnawing feeling during certain scenes that there are contradictions and false premises but am just not smart enough or perceptive enough to articulate them . . . yet.  “Check your premises” is what Francisco d’Anconia (one of the protagonists in Atlas Shrugged) always says. 

 

So l searched for critiques of Objectivism and was directed towards Greg Nyquist.  I have only read his introduction and a few portions of his blog and I have to say that it is really tough to find an easy simple summary of his critique.  In what I have read of his work, I keep seeing the same type of “verbal web” that he criticizes Rand for – i.e. complicated ideas with long words that I need to keep consulting a dictionary for.  There are many large terms – metaphysics, epistemology, etc. which I do not understand.  Maybe the lesson is that I cannot look for the absolute right or wrong answer, just the RELATIVE inconsistencies in both Author’s arguments – that is a pure Objectivist philosophy though!  Regardless I will finish the book and also read Nyquist’s critique in full to get a better understanding. 

 

Part of the introduction of his book is online and in a base criticism of Rand’s “verbalism” he says the following – which I agree with fully:

“Knowledge comes, not from words, but from experience. The knowledge of any complex skill, whether it is cooking, judging the motives of other people, or writing a novel, can only be learned from immersing oneself in the activity from which the knowledge springs. To learn how to cook, you go into the kitchen; to learn how to judge the motives of other people, you begin by sharply observing those around you; to learn how to write a novel, you read other novels and attempt to write some of your own. Of course, learning in this way is difficult and time-consuming. Hence the appeal of philosophers who, like Rand, declare that knowledge comes from words. It is very flattering to think that, once one masters the vocabulary of a given subject, one has mastered the subject itself. Yet it should be obvious to anyone who has given the matter serious thought that, just because you are familiar with, say, the general concepts of cooking, this does not mean that you know how to cook. Knowledge of cooking must derive, not from the terms in which cooking is described, but from cooking itself”

To gain knowledge you have to participate and experiment in the physical activity itself.  Time for me to get crackin’ . . . . 

I am finding it tough to make lots of money by doing minimal amounts of work

I really wish I knew a way to make a lot of money where I could do minimum amounts of work.  That would be ideal.  If anyone has any ideas, please let me know . . . . .

 

One of the great parts about David Allen’s “Getting Things Done” (GTD) productivity system is that it forced me to break my tasks down into smaller manageable, and more importantly, ACTIONABLE tasks.  Over the last two years it has really help me increase my productivity at work and home and also make me feel like I am in control of my life. 

 

The system has worked well for me in a job where my objectives were reasonably well defined and thus the expectations and tasks were also well defined.  When your objective is less defined (i.e. making a lot of money by doing minimal amounts of work!) it is tough to find clearly defined tasks to accomplish your end goal.  For instance, the obvious first way is to start researching some “concepts” on the web.  Fine.  Now identifying compelling opportunities is very tough because there are a lot of qualitative as well as quantitative measures that you can use and they change on an idea to idea basis.  So, how am I supposed to choose a way to accomplish the overarching goal when I can’t rate the different ideas because they have complex ratings mechanisms that are not even comparable to one another.  The end result is complete and utter standstill . . . . zero productivity (check out the link, how hilarious is this)!

 

Let us say for a moment, that I was able to find something worth trying.  The next step presents an even  bigger problem.  You typically have to do something you have never done before AND spend money dong it.  Now without any sort of income (since I have “left the corporate” so to speak) I can’t bring myself to spend even one cent on a business where I have not already proved the return potential – that means I’m already refining my search to the “getting something for nothing” category which I anyways believe is just not workable. 

 

What I keep hearing from successful, for budding entrepreneurs is that you don’t know what will work until you have tried it – and you have to expect a bit of failure.  You need to learn from your mistakes and TRY OUT your new ideas!  I think I'm just stalling because I’m scared to try new things.  I bet that by the end of March when the prospect of zero-income fully hits me I’ll probably start trying new things in earnest.

Public Sector Incompetence and Private Sector Vitality

“The confusion and disorganization of the city’s response to an invasion by as few as ten terrorists was a sharp reminder that India’s public sector has little of the entrepreneurial vitality of the newly liberated private sector” – Jonathan Foreman, deputy editor of standpoint from his article “India’s time of reckoning” [Sorry unfortunately I could not find a free copy of the article online]

 

My parent’s generation and their elders used to view the Indian Government as a place where very smart intellectuals and high achievers would go to become powerful and successful.  The Indian Administrative Services attracted the most talented people in the country, as determined by extremely intensive exams.  I don’t know numbers but I’m sure that just like the IIT/IIM system you get a less then 1% ratio of people who take the exams to people who get a spot in the IAS. 

 

Since the “Independence” generation there has been a definite change in the perception of the Public Sector.  In fact, my generation would much rather choose a career in the Private Sector not only due to money but also because the perception of impact that you can make on the sections of the Public that could use help.  In fact, most of my friends who want to do Public Sector work in India would do it through an NGO instead of direct Government service work. 

 

My generation perceives the government as a barrier to growth, as a hindrance to progress.  It is slow, it is annoying and it is ugly.  Politicians are perceived to be sleazy.  Remember, though, that there is a difference between a politician and a bureaucrat – I think that there the perception of politicians spills over to the bureaucratic side of government.  Regardless, bureaucrats are not known for their efficiency, flexibility or forward thought.  This perception is unfortunate for obvious reasons.  In India it is tough to find smart young bureaucrats or politicians – it is just not an appealing enough sector to attract young and dynamic personalities. 

 

The idea of hierarchy and age-based promotion has been vanishing from the private sector.  The focus on merit based earnings and achievement has really helped drive the “entrepreneurial vitality” that Jonathan Foreman mentions above.  What the Indian Government needs to do is revive this spirit and renew the ranks of the bureaucracy with young, smart and motivated individuals.  How?  I have no idea but certainly it can’t be a monetary based motivation – the private sector, for the time being, will pay significant amounts more for talent. 

 

But wait – The Economist says that maybe its because “many young people prefer pleasure-seeking to politics” – well, it does make a good read . . . .

 

On a personal note – I am afraid of dealing with government officials in India because I do not understand how to deal with the bureaucracy in an efficient manner.  As I go through the process of starting a new company I will likely have to hire “agents” and use friends to navigate my way through certain regulatory hurdles, etc. 

The Birth of the Anti-Capitalist and the Hilarious Capital Consequences on Me

“But Trader Monthly did, and it limned the trader so that all might behold his glory. A trader was a sort of embodiment of the primal drama of capitalism; not just an überconsumer, but a bullying, self-maximizing, wealth-extracting he-man, a lout in full.”

 

I’m in the middle of reading Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged” and this sort of language reminds me exactly of the antagonists in the book.  When the going gets tough, people who make or made money are considered the enemy.  Now, in the current scenario, some of these guys did push us towards a financial crisis . . . . but hey, this makes for good reading. 

 

What is the direct effect on me?  Well, I was randomly asked to publish an article a few months ago about what you could do in Mumbai if you had only three hours on the ground.  It was published in Trader Monthly here.  Unfortunately the original is much better and can be found in this blog – here. 

 

Unfortunately – and true to the capitalist form – Trader Monthly – has gone belly-up (you have to read the rest of the article).  Guess it wasn’t efficient use of capital but luckily it will be shut down and capital can move on to more efficient places.  My article will thus be taken offline.  Luckily this blog can save the original!  It is funny to think that the death of a self-maximizing publication about self-maximizing people has gone bankrupt. 

Three Hours in South Mumbai – The Original

Below is the original draft of an article I wrote for Dealmaker Magazine in October 2008.  The published article is here but they cut out a lot of the original content which, in my opinion, makes the article flow better.  There were some space restrictions on their part so it is understandable. 

 

Just an initial note – Bombay is not a hub for any major airlines, just a destination so layovers are very rare. Even when they do happen, it is extremely tough for guests to leave the airport (those damn Bombay police, etc.). What I have laid out below will be for businessmen (or women!) who have meetings in the financial centre of Bombay.

 

So Bombay is a huge city, ~15mm people and even though it is geographically medium-sized, the traffic is absolutely horrendous. Make sure that when you do come over here, you have your Company get you a car and driver. The yellow and black taxis are charming, but only for 10 minutes. After that it gets old.

 

On that note, let’s focus on the financial centre of the city – South Bombay or Nariman Point. This is where most of the bankers/lawyers/traders and other miscellaneous finance folks sit. Another thing to remember about Bombay (and India in general) is that service, like the traffic, is always backed up and slow. Additionally, people tend to show up at least 15 minutes late for all business appointments – punctuality is not our best asset.

 

7:00pm – As you head out of your meeting, remember to give yourself time for the typically old and dilapidated elevators to pick you up and take you down. Hop into your car (you must have a car and driver of course!) and have the driver take you to the area known as Kala Ghoda where you will find multiple art galleries selling everything from Indian Paintings to Indian Music. It is a relatively small area but full of small alleyways. Drive around to get a feel of the hustle and bustle of Bombay street life and look out for the following art galleries Jahangir, Museum and Hacienda in which you will find beautiful pieces of Indian art.

 

8:00pm – After walking around a bit and buying some art, you will need a cool drink. Hop into the car and head over to the Intercontinental Hotel to the rooftop bar, Dome. Here you will find the elite of Bombay sipping on gin and tonics beginning to unwind from the hot and hectic day. Expect to see a mix of the hip and elite youth in their Gucci shoes and D&G sunglasses as well as the Uncles and Aunties in more traditional garb. The bar looks over Marine Drive and the bay past it. While the sun doesn’t set on this side of the Bay, the reflection of the sunset is brilliant.

 

8:30pm – Time to grab some grub. Back to Kala Ghoda for a phenomenal seafood meal at Trishna restaurant. Make sure you try the Garlic Butter Crab and the Hyderabadi Fish but also ask the waiters what is good that night. The Butter Crab is to die for! This is also one of the few places that has fast service so make sure you eat here if you have limited time.

 

9:30pm – The nightlife only starts at around 10:30pm or 11:00pm but if you want to catch the early crowd in a lively atmosphere, you should head to Woodside Inn in Regal Circle (in Colaba). Before you head in, though, take a drive down the Colaba Causeway and try to spot the difference between the locals and the foreigners. At Woodside, make sure you try Kingfisher beer, a staple in the sub-continent. If you are still hungry, the hot chocolate soufflé is a must.

 

Honorable Mention – if you have another night in Mumbai, make sure to eat at Flavours of the East in Kemp’s Corner. A pan-asian restaurant with a decidedly Indian influence. Make sure you ask Chef Nachiket for the Chef’s Special.

Laziness, “Un”productivity, and the “Un”fullfillment of Everything I Could Ever Want

Over the last few weeks I have been pushing myself pretty hard – figuring out how to exit the current job (mostly trying to delegate most of my tasks to everyone else!), recovering from tonsillitis, going to the gym and working out very hard . . . and most importantly following my own rules of networking to narrow down and refine my ideas for a business in the chronic disease management space.  I have really pushed myself mentally and physically to the limit. 

 

Over the last two days, though, I haven’t been very focused on either my current job and my new business ventures – I think I am just venting the frustration of slow progress on all fronts.  I would say I have probably done less then 6 hours of real work over the past two days.  So what am I doing instead?  Well, I have definitely gone against my self-imposed information diet and resorted to sorting through my entire blog roll (see the right hand column!).  More importantly I have been stumbling from website to website for the past few hours and also checking out random sites that offer free video games.  Obviously I downloaded the fake Mario and fake Civilization games and played them over the last two hours or so.

 

Two months ago this sort of aimless wandering would be everything I could have wanted and more.  Unfortunately, right now, I’m feeling very unfulfilled.  Here’s the trap – it’s not that I am unhappy about not accomplishing anything, I think that making that switch from being unproductive to productive is something that I won’t be able to do.  This reminds me of when I was a kid and had to do things that my parents would force me to do . . . I would dread them and try to procrastinate as much as possible but once I finally started doing whatever it is they had me doing, I would feel a great sense of accomplishment.  I had that “push factor” from the parents to get me over the hump, so to speak, but now I have to provide this motivation myself.  I’m worried I just won’t be able to do it!

My First Interaction with the Indian Civil Service – whoops!

In my first couple of weeks doing PE in India (back in Jan 2007) I was sent to Delhi to the Department of Telecom to attend an initial meeting on an auction by the government of rural telecom tower infrastructure sites (the USO tender).  Walking into an Indian Government building was a new experience for me – both in terms of the general quality of the building as well as the types of people that reside within them.  The meeting was interesting and was basically two Civil Servants speaking to about 50 people associated with telecom companies in India that wanted to make a bid for the USO contract.  The meeting was relatively short and conducted well but what really hit me was the “respect” that the industry guys poured over the government guys.  I signed my name on the attendance sheet and shook hands with the government guys.  My approach was a casual hello and that’s it – no formalities.  On the other hand, everyone else addressed the government guys with a “sir” or “sirji.” 

 

The funny part was that I received a call from the junior Civil Servant I met at the meeting a week later informing me that I needed to send somebody to pick up the official bid documents in Delhi within a defined two hour window the next day.  Obviously, being in Mumbai, I told the guy that I wouldn’t be able to but maybe he could just courier it to me in Mumbai, or I could just download it from the web.  WRONG!  He got a little “irritated” and demanded to know if “I knew who [I was] dealing with” and that I was being disrespectful, etc.  I had the phone on speaker and the Partners of my firm were all laughing congratulating me on my first interaction with the Civil Service.  The key, apparently, is to act subservient and call the guy “sirji” apparently.  Also, I just needed to tell the guy I would pick up the document even if I wasn’t.  

 

Obviously their is a general hierarchical culture that the older generations are used to but this culture has changed significantly in the business world where performance now matters much more then seniority.  Additionally the perception of the Civil Service has dramatically fallen (in my generation) so it reinforces this tension.   For an ABCD who is not used to hierarchy or a distinguished view of the Civil Service, I get myself into trouble!

What Finance Geeks Don’t Know About Getting a New Job (and pretty much most idiot college kids)

I try to tell my little brothers all the time that the key to getting a job is to network and follow-up with people.  Most type-A college kids who go into Investment Banking and Consulting go through their campus recruiting programs and are thus completely clueless when they are [forced to / choose] to leave the profession.  Getting a job is NOT about going to online job postings (in my experience) - - it is about networking heavily and doing it in an efficient and organized manner.

 

Get your address book out and start contacting your friends and family for help.  The first thing to do is blast email / call your friends and family and let people know that you are looking for a job in the field and that any contacts they could provide would be helpful.  You can and should contact specific people who you know will be more helpful (i.e. your parents because they are obligated to).

 

Now as the contacts start rolling in, remember that the the most important aspect of the approach is that you are not contacting these people to ask for jobs.  It is always better to approach them by asking for advice or an introduction to others in the field you are interested in.  I prefer doing this initially with an email and establishing some sort of common ground.  The idea is to collect information and synthesize it to help you in later discussions. 

 

As you talk to more people your knowledge of the area you are pursuing will grow.  Not only will you then start building better repoire with your contacts by demonstrating knowledge, but you will also be able to narrow the focus on the specific area or company you want to work with as well as the specific people that your contact can help you reach out to. 

Overloading Your Information Diet

The marvels of modern technology allow me access to information in any place at any time. About two months ago I realized that I was spending almost 3 hours of my day reading through newspapers, blog posts and other internet news sites. I am an information junkie. I had never stopped to think about why I need all of this information and how any of it could really help me.

I operated under the assumption that the more information I consumed, the better - at somepoint, somewhere, that information could/would be useful.  After reading my new favorite book “The Four Hour Workweek” I very quickly realized how much time I was wasting.  Reading every word of every article that comes across my radar is not only unproductive but some of the most important pieces of information are easily forgotten in the process.

How do you re-evaluate your information diet?  Easy, read the tagline / headline and ask yourself some very important questions:

1. Is this piece of information going to tangibly help me today/tomorrow/this week
2. Is this piece of information something that I am actually interested in and care about

For example, I was reading every single article about the Satyam debacle in the ET everyday. As general purpose cocktail knowledge it is good to know what is going on in the world, but EVERY article is overkill. What I needed was the one article that gives the daily overview of what is happening (in fact, typically you can get this from the headlines themselves). Also, through the headlines you can then find specific articles that you can focus on . . . for example I have worked with a certain audit company in the past and would like to know what the public perception / regulatory fallout is of this debacle. Just by asking myself the above questions I was able to cut my “time spent on Satyam” to 1/8 of what it was before . . . . .

Well, you’ve made the PE lifestyle sound pretty rewarding, why are you leaving?

My job is a cushy job. I get paid well, I get the instant credibility, I get great administrative resources, I get to meet a lot of interesting people and I get to travel quite a bit. On the flip-side, as an Associate, even in a smaller firm, you are always answering to some higher authority, there are lots of general and philosophical disagreements on administrative and operational processes. Furthermore, I feel like the learning curve has decreased – this might be more due to my laziness than anything else. All-in-all you are not your own boss and you have not created something yourself, your way.

 

At a startup you have to do everything on your own. For me, this will be a challenge as many of the basics were taken care of by others – incorporation of a new Company, day-to-day office staff management, technology back end solutions, etc. It’s an even harder challenge considering that I am an ABCD and thus my Hindi is pretty rotten. I think that one of the toughest parts of the transition will be working alone instead of in a social environment (at least at first).

The Private Equity Scene in India - I know I said I would leave . . . .

I know what you’re thinking . . . Private Equity in a developing country. It’s what many bankers aspire to do. I was trying to leave the world of finance and I got stuck right back in the mix. Boy, are you wrong. It has been a wonderful two years. At the beginning, I was the only non-Partner which meant that I got to have a direct hand in building the firm. At some points they gave me almost too much responsibility! The environment is very very different from Investment banking. For one thing, you are not focused on getting a deal done, instead you are focused on the long term viability of a Company. I would say that now, two years later, I spend over 75% of my time on Portfolio companies. That means that we are directly, on a daily basis, involved with the Companies that we represent. My job was not to manipulate numbers, but to help the Company implement operational improvements or help them get new customers (usually by calling up a senior partner to get an introduction) or even, and unfortunately, managing crises. More importantly, I got to boss my own bosses around a bit! I have learned a lot about the Indian business environment and the challenges growing businesses face. I would imagine that this experience is very different from Private Equity in the U.S. because there are less buyouts, almost no leverage, and you are typically dealing with companies that are not used to intense financial scrutiny and governance. It is always a battle yet the rewards are much greater. So I’ve enjoyed my time, learned a lot, and met some excellent people- But it’s time to leave!

Leaving the Corporate - Part Deux; or, How to Leave Private Equity

After a two year hiatus I’m back! My initial dream of escaping the corporate didn’t happen according to plan. The “telecom services” startup actually got started but I did something unfortunately a lot more corporate at the same time. We launched iJunxion (add link) 6 months ago with an initial conference calling service for Companies in India. Unfortunately, I didn’t quite leave the corporate like I was expecting – I ventured into something quite “Corporate” – Private Equity.

 

So, I guess you’re asking what happened? Well in January 2007 I got a call from a former boss at Merrill (where I worked for all of 3 months, or was it 6, I can’t remember) as well as some other partners of a Private Equity firm that was just starting in India. In the U.S. I had worked on a bunch of deals in the Telecom Tower space and these new PE hotshots were looking at doing a deal in the space in India. They had no Associates or junior level help of any kind so they asked me to help them out for a few weeks by building a model and starting to execute a transaction in the space. Little did I know that this “project” is one I am still working on and has led to a few transactions in the space. I guess I got sucked into the buy-side and have been with the firm (to be named later when my link won’t be the only one – as we just put the web-site up).

 

Now, though, I am doing it again! I am leaving to try to start my own business, or at least figure out what is important to me (besides cash money!).

 

[UPDATE: Our website is up! I was/am working for New Silk Route Growth Capital]