Over the last few weeks I have been pushing myself pretty hard – figuring out how to exit the current job (mostly trying to delegate most of my tasks to everyone else!), recovering from tonsillitis, going to the gym and working out very hard . . . and most importantly following my own rules of networking to narrow down and refine my ideas for a business in the chronic disease management space. I have really pushed myself mentally and physically to the limit.
Over the last two days, though, I haven’t been very focused on either my current job and my new business ventures – I think I am just venting the frustration of slow progress on all fronts. I would say I have probably done less then 6 hours of real work over the past two days. So what am I doing instead? Well, I have definitely gone against my self-imposed information diet and resorted to sorting through my entire blog roll (see the right hand column!). More importantly I have been stumbling from website to website for the past few hours and also checking out random sites that offer free video games. Obviously I downloaded the fake Mario and fake Civilization games and played them over the last two hours or so.
Two months ago this sort of aimless wandering would be everything I could have wanted and more. Unfortunately, right now, I’m feeling very unfulfilled. Here’s the trap – it’s not that I am unhappy about not accomplishing anything, I think that making that switch from being unproductive to productive is something that I won’t be able to do. This reminds me of when I was a kid and had to do things that my parents would force me to do . . . I would dread them and try to procrastinate as much as possible but once I finally started doing whatever it is they had me doing, I would feel a great sense of accomplishment. I had that “push factor” from the parents to get me over the hump, so to speak, but now I have to provide this motivation myself. I’m worried I just won’t be able to do it!
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